Saturday, November 7, 2009

What memory do you wish would sometimes disappear?

Ok, so this prompt wants me to journal on about a memory I wished would disappear. When in reality I find it hard to do so. Sure there are memories that I wish I didn't have...just like I am sure everyone else has memories they sometimes wish they didn't. The problem lies in wishing they weren't there. I can take this prompt in two different ways.

The first way to take it is as it is read. Wishing they would disappear does by no means mean I wish the events that lead to the memories would have never happened. So taking it this way, I would say that there are many I wish I didn't remember. Events that lead to pain or disappointment or even sadness. But that being said, I must take this one step further. There is that old saying that "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger." And you become stronger because you have learned from those events that cause you ill emotion. But, if I magically could forget all those moments of sadness, hurt, and would I learn from those moments? I mean all those moments make you who you are. And this leads to the second way I could take this prompt.

The second way I could take this prompt is that I could say that if I had memories I wish would disappear it is like the whole moment attached to those memories did not happen. And therefore, we are stuck where we were before. Having not learned from those moments that caused us pain or hurt. And without those moments we would not be the people we are today. I know for a fact I would be different without those moments. Because it all leads down to that saying that you can never truly know happiness unless you have also experienced sadness. You would have nothing to quantify things against. You cannot compare two things you have not experienced. It would make it harder for you to sit there and talk about how happy you are because you can't say..."I feel happier today because yesterday I stubbed my toe against the desk". Those moments (even as small as stubbing your toe) allow us to make that needed comparison, so that we may truly understand our emotions as a whole.

And so having skirted this entire issue, I end this here now. I do not wish to list those moments I would choose to forget, because they make me who I am. And there is no one I would rather be in this moment.

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